And the real evil is...

Now I know, it's my eldest brother. He is the one who causes all these 'repercussions'. He is the one who gave mental pressure to me, and cause me to doubt in my own abilities. He is the evil...

I just discover this two days before. Before that, I keep questioning myself with all sorts of question. Do I really don't have anyone that I can trust to? My house is really like a place for the game - survivor, everyone is trying to get rid of others... And then another question - Do I have any true friend? Nope, I don't... MY is not my ..... true friends...(I'm so sorry to say that he is a little bit of childish...) I never tell my mother about my secrets (in fact, no one), just because I will sometimes get a recoil just because of that.

It was a difficult time during the questioning period. I stop talking to all my friends, just to make my mind clear and think about all sorts of silly question... I can really feel that my soul is empty, anything can influence me easily, such as the thought of killing myself... But thank God that nothing happened to me, the real evil is my brother... He is the one who put me in all these sufferings, and I shall ignore all his words...

However, he is on holiday and is staying in my house. I will evade every chance to see him, to talk to him, or even to think about him... But I don't know how long I can stand... Like the movie RE...

P/S : I remember Squall says that my relationship between me and my brother is like cat and dog... It's wrong, our relationship is just like water and fire... I am water and he is the fire because he always start the quarrel...

Don't worry about me, I'm still okay...